Talking with the family
Getting Started
When you start your family history research its always useful to try to talk to
older family members. Its amazing the bits of information they can come up with,
and its often great fun for relatives to recollect stories from their childhood
and stories their parents and grandparents told them. Its wonderful when you learn
a little bit more about someone who is often just a name on a certificate, suddenly
they’re not just a name but a real flesh and blood person. Its possible, of course,
that the person you’re talking to may get confused, and give you misleading information
or they may be telling a story that was told to them incorrectly, but if you can
find at least two people giving you similar information you can usually assume you’re
on the right track.
Don’t Delay
So many of us have regretted that we didn’t talk to our grandparents and relatives
more when we were children. I have some good excuses, somehow it didn’t occur to
me that the grown-ups had much of a life before I was born and in any case children
listened and were sometimes told things but they didn’t ask personal questions even
if they’d known what questions to ask! My father’s family have been told to ask
my mother any questions they need answering and she will do her best to give them
as much information as she has, she is the last of her generation alive and has
been invaluable to me with background information, but oh how I wished I’d asked
my father and some of my aunts more about their childhoods, so don’t delay too long.
Keepsakes
When you visit your older relatives it’s often useful to take some photographs or
small family items say a pocket watch that belonged to your great grandfather or
a small keepsake inherited from your grandmother. Sometimes we all find it hard
to pull facts ‘out of the hat’ but a photograph can bring memories flooding back,
as can an item that a relative remembers from their childhood. With very elderly
people memory is sometimes patchy and you may find that on one visit you obtain
very little information but on another occasion their memory might be clearer. Always
bear in mind, of course, that you should never force yourself on people. Some people
may find talking about the past distressing, although it is family history to us,
it is their life and if there is the least indication that they prefer not to talk
about the past they should never be pressed. Indeed such behaviour might be viewed
as harassment.
Recording Information
Always make sure you take something with you on your visit to make a note of any
information you are given, some people might even like to be recorded. Make sure
you keep a note of the date of your interview and record the bones of the conversation
so that you have a record for the future.